Tuesday, February 24

Feel Your Boobies

Guess what I get to do after work??? Its one of my favorite things.
If you've never had it done.... The following will help you prepare..

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PREPARING FOR THE YEARLY MAMMOGRAM

Many women fear their first mammogram, and even if you've had them before, there is the fear. There is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, do the following practice exercises/ You will be totally prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises in the privacy of your home.

EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds.
Repeat in case the first time wasn't effective.

EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.

EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight.
Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room.
Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as he/she can.
Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again.

You are now properly prepared!

Seriously... All women over age 40 should have their yearly mammogram!

Michelle


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1 comment:

Cherie said...

Hilarious!

I am so glad you posted this. I am a big proponent of women getting their mammograms!

Every year when I get mine I push it and I am always so surprised how many of my friends have never had one.

So Important!