Dear Cailin

Dear Cailin,

Even though its been 6 years, I think of you often. I think of your fat pink arms and legs and how bad I would love to sqeeze you and give you hugs and kisses. I would love to have you meet your little brother Carter. He turned one this year. He looked alot like you when he was born. When I think about it, you probably already know him. When you went to heaven to live with Jesus you probably found him and became friends with him. You probably played and giggled and had all kinds of fun before it was his time to come to earth. Each day as I see Carter growing and changing I can't help but wonder how it would have been with you . I lost your entire future when you went back to Heaven. You have a special place in my heart. I visit your grave and place flowers on it. I will always remember you and keep you in my heart and look forward to the day I will see you again.

Love,
Grammy Mish

Cailin

Today would have been my very first Grand Daughters 6th birthday. Eric and Shawna had already flown to Portland to prepare for the birth of their baby girl. They had found out several weeks earlier during a routine ultrasound that their unborn daughter had Hyplastic Left Heart Syndrome. She would be delivered at Oregon Health Science University Hospital in Portland. The plan was to have a 90% successful heart surgery. One of approximately three planned her first two years of life.

I was attending Janelle's High School graduation when we got the call. Shawna went into labor a few days early. She didn't have to be induced. Everyone was praying the outcome would be good.

Cailin Marie Davis made her appearance the morning of May 23rd, 2002. CPR had to be performed. They immediately did a quick surgery and hooked her up to a ECMO machine. Her life support.

I was at work when I received the call. Eric told me the news, it didn't look good. I packed my bags and hit the road with my daughter Janelle for a long 7 hour drive. I was stressed and nervous but continued to pray for baby Cailin. By the time we arrived she had been transferred to Doernbecker Childrens Hospital. I found the NICU and reunited with the family. When I first laid eyes on Cailin, it brought tears to my eyes and she took my breath away. She was a fat, pink, beautiful little Angel. Then I noticed the machines, the tubes, the bandaids, the gauze. How could God do this?? Her parents were only 20 years old! It broke my heart. Nobody should go through such pain and suffering! Why them??

Cailin laid there with tubes out of her open chest, from her heart to the ECMO. She had a breathing tube. She had an IV. She was sedated to keep her heart rate down. The less stress the better. Her poor little body was trying to heal and survive. I witnessed the pure love of a parent as Eric and Shawna held her fingers, caressed her hair and stroked her little toes. Eric sang to her daily. "Hey little girl, look what you do... Oh I love you.. Hey little girl look what you do. I got you, my own Cailin. Hey little girl. Oh I love you!"

Only a couple of times as the sedation wore off did she open her eyes and look around. I believe she laid there in Gods ever loving arms receiving comfort only he could give her. I believed her life on earth would be short, but remained strong and hopeful. A mother's worst pain is seeing her child suffer. I could only offer comfort with a hug and my presents.

Baby Cailin lived 11 days. During her short time on earth, she touched many lives. She must have been a very special Angel to be able to return to and live with God so soon. Baby Cailin, you will always be in my heart. Happy Birthday! Love Grammy.